Return to Menu
90. From 100 Histories
By Aurelie Sheehan
The wedding party of the season kicked off the weekend, with neighbors and old acquaintances flying in from all over. "Wouldn't have missed it for the world," said Uncle Rem, who only two minutes before had hopped off a twin-prop from Mexico City. The ever-popular twins from Baltimore, Nick and Ned, arrived sporting boating slacks and new business cards: they've set up a fab antiquary in posh Southampton, which will open this summer, just in time for the star-studded Fourth of July crowds in for beach glass and original 1908 Monopoly boards!
K. and L., who met at last year's gala Daisy Parade, have been truly, madly in love since that fateful moment when their eyes first locked over spilled punch and a racing forum. More than once the word "grace" came to the lips of the 150+ guests in the daisy-strewn reception hall (the daisies a reminder, of course, of how it all began twelve months before).
Taking the daisy theme and running with it, L.'s family commissioned a lovely piece of original art: a silk-screened banner reading "She Loves Me!" which hung over the Head Table during the evening. Charmingly, a duo of sparrows took it upon themselves to perch on top of the banner and preen and chirp during the appetizer course.
The families of the lovebirds themselves were beating down the door to fete the charming couple. This reporter counted forty-six Villamontes and fifty-three Stromms in attendance. Patriarch Villamonte, Nestor, renowned for his dealings in antiquaries along the coast of Spain and recently Quebec City, had this to say over a champagne toast (Chandon Brut, well iced and perfectly matched with the eel on Saltine hor d'ouevres!): "Never have I seen my beloved child so happy as she is this day." K's mother chimed in moments later with her own maternal nugget of wisdom: "We're all family now, isn't it a gas? I feel like I've known L. all my life long."
The Villamontes weren't the only loquacious wordsmiths in town. Roused to a toast himself by 150+ singing teaspoons battering down better-grade restaurant crystal flutes, Stromm Senior rose miraculously from his wheelchair to say: "Long live the Albatross!" before once more sitting down. (Rumors of a hospital visit after the reception were largely found to be false.)
Natives to our humble village will remember Stromm Senior's illustrious career as a sea captain, in addition to the personal sacrifices he made in the War.
The food was to die for. Where
did K. and L. find this fabulous new caterer? Turns out that REBELLION FOOD CORP. is the hottest new name in culinary hoo-hah. From the previously mentioned eel-and-cracker appetizers - which no one, I mean no one, had thought of before - to the actual meal itself (strongly flavored kale quiche, pork chops with raspberry jam, freshly baked breadsticks, and a truly extraordinary mango-kiwi compote slathered over it all) to the piece de resistance
for any lover de chocolat
, a Mud Pie with melon balls, REBELLION FOOD CORP. has truly outdone itself - Choi and Choi Caterers, Wildflower Kitchen, Generous Bowls Inc., watch out for this gutsy newcomer!
But no account of the Nuptials of the Season would be complete without mention of the knock-em-dead musical band! A little bird told me that these feisty Beatles throwbacks are actually cousins of L. and had recently been released from prison. Don't say that came from me, boys and girls, because maybe the penitentiary is a fine place to practice music without distraction, and who are we to use the past
against one of our own? The proof was in the "voting" footsteps of all the giddy dancers. Rumba, ballroom, tango, hip-hop - you name it, these lucky guests broke the mold dreamily interpreting the old standards. Ah, melody! The music of the heart! Ah, to be young again!
Sources close to the beloved couple told us they were off to Aruba for seven days after the Event. Picture this, if you would, the chance to savor and relive such a gala festival of sweet memories in your own newlywed suite, with a heart-shaped tub and a bottle of vodka...
I myself was not sure whether to take seriously the rumors of despair and discord, including two pairs of velvet slippers thrown from the window of a VW Beetle. How can one intrude so on the private lives of others by reporting such detail, such ghastly detail, best left private, and utterly alone? You won't hear such grousing and pussyfooting from this
reporter, who believes in love, believes in this town, and believes in the intergenerational goodwill generated by Nuptial events!
The reception hall itself, the Chamber of Commerce has announced, will be closed for renovations at the end of the season. Further inquiries regarding reservations can be made by e-mail or phone to Gladys.